mom inventions.

so, a lot's going on in our world.
micah's been crazy sick.
by crazy sick i mean double ear infection, pink eye, cough, cold, fever.
not that crazy.
matt's rotations are not fun. night float.
yuck.

and i leave for spain in a week!
meanwhile, life continues.
and i've been thinking of some inventions that would make me rich.
but i'm not good at actually making things.
so if someone could get this done in the next few hours, that'd be great.

1. drive through everything. imagine that world. so much productivity. 
2. outlet covers that actually camoflauge into the wall. somehow, even with the little covers, they are magnetized to toddlers. must. touch.
3. silent vacuum cleaners. naptimes would get much more cleaning action.
4. vegetables that taste like candy. adios, fretting about nutrition intake!
5. a toy that magically keeps kids awake in carseats. or a police escort when you cut it too close, so you don't get stuck at red lights or in traffic in order to get home before those eyes close.
6. something that's so entertaining that i could shower while micah's awake. ahh. showers. 
7. child safety locks on: kleenex, toilet paper, wipes. for obvious reasons. i care about the environment. and it's definitely taken a hit since i had a kid. good thing i cloth diaper.
8. make fireplaces less interesting.
9. self cleaning toys. you know, like ovens.
10. puzzles that have a button on the back and put themselves all back in the correct places. i don't want to spend micah's nap time putting puzzles back together.
11. coats that become nearly invisible while stuffed into carseats.
12. snow that is not so cold that it can't be played in.
13. snowgear that is not bulky. i mean come on! we live in america! 
14. dog bowls that only dogs can eat from. and kids can't play in.
15. toilets that appear empty until being used for the correct purpose.
16. eliminate all sharp corners.
17. only cushy carpet. OH! that doesn't keep stains.
18. a food catcher. that is not my dog.
19. kid music that is not mind numbing. and that i won't randomly sing in the night and hate myself for it a little.
20. restaurants that have playplaces that are not mcdonalds. imagine that.
21. a constant 5 extra minutes when trying to go somewhere. because inevitably: poopy diaper.
22. a snack that doesn't have the ability to: spill, stain, squeeze, stick. the four s's.
23. reaaaaaaally long distance baby monitor. like so you could go on a date. it should also have a built in firefighter/securityguard/mom so that everything's covered. because, come on. we have him cry it out anyway. actually, that shouldn't be invented. but a girl can dream!
24. shirts that camouflage snot, spit, and food but are still trendy.

that's all for now.
who's with me?!