Sunday, September 1, 2013

she's just miley.

she can't stop.
it's a party in the usa.
and i decided that she's to blame for all that's wrong in society.
here's the start of my list of things i'm choosing to blame on her. in no particular order.

1. that i run out of shampoo before conditioner.
2. dog hair on the floor.
3. dog hair on furniture.
4. dust. more than dust, dusting.
5. labor. enough said.
6. contractions. the ones with apostrophes and the ones from babies.
7. watermelon seeds.
8. raspberry seeds.
9. tomatoes in general.
10. alfredo sauce. (admit it. it just looks like lard.)
11. bugs where they don't belong.
12. weeds.
13. the price of cable.
14. trash dumps.
15. the fact that everyone doesn't recycle. earth day everyday. come on.
16. when you are waiting for the next episode of a tv show to come online.
17. train tracks with trains on them when you're in a hurry.
18. lack of backyard fences.
19. when you take a drink of coffee and realize it has grounds in it. yuck.
20. cakes that fall.
21. visits to the gyn.
22. bruises. any and all.
23. stubbing your toe.
28. when you don't know which battery died, so you have to switch both.
29. toilet paper rolls that are loaded upside down.
30. cups of coffee that slosh out of the cup.
31. the existence of bottled water. seriously. just use the faucet. 
32. when going sledding, the process of walking back up the hill.
33. chipping nail polish.
34. customer service for any and all companies over the phone.
35. sore throats.

there are obviously many more things.
and obviously many that actually matter... like disease and war and things.
and it goes without saying that it's definitely all miley's fault.


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