i don't normally do blog posts on serious topics.
but here we are.
i've recently been filled with some wisdom i feel i should share.
after how i just spent the last hour, i'm forced to draw a few conclusions...
conclusion 1: people stuff and plants only exist for bugs to make homes in.
conclusion 2: people only exist to keep bugs off their front porches and homes.
conclusion 3: outdoor furniture should never have any crevices for spiders to build homes in. just one smooth surface should be required.
conclusion 4: killing/disrupting a large number of spiders and other bugs does not lessen intense fear or distress in the person. if that person is me.
conclusion 5: pruning plants and getting rid of spider webs can become an aerobic exercise. add a raincoat (not sure why i had it on in hindsight. not actually raining.), a hood (yes, i had the hood up the whole time. always. bugs in hair would put me over the edge.), a lot of jumping, yelping, and push-broom-throwing.
conclusion 6: there's a reason i've put off such activities until now, hoping matt would do them.
conclusion 7: people who don't like bugs shouldn't be married to medical residents who work insane hours. they aren't as available as you may like to kill bugs. and you may be forced to do some of this on your own.
conclusion 8: maybe i should have a more inconspicuous raincoat. bright yellow northface doesn't scream, "she's mature and knows what she's doing."
it's plausible a few of my neighbors may change their opinions of me after what they may have just witnessed.
can't win 'em all.